Constitution of Hell
We, the people of Hell, have agreed to initiate a system of totalitarianism in which the Almighty Prince of Darkness will reign supreme. It is the undeniable right of every citizen within the society to remain in total pain and confusion during every waking moment of the day. It is the privilege of each and every citizen to loyally serve the causes of the Prince of Darkness without question and without thought.Punishment in our society ranges from week-long tortures of the Prince's personal preference to eternal transformations into insignificant green throat lozenges. The most atrocious crime to our society is disturbing the unholy Armageddon process. Attempts to uphold such idealistic and foolish values as truth, justice and morality are also considered serious crimes in our society. For example, should a citizen see an elderly lady crossing the street, it is that citizen's legal obligation to ensure that a large vehicle runs her over.The values which form the base of our society are indulgence, power to the strong and absolute loyalty to the Prince. These values must be respected by all members of the society. Any citizen who is caught opposing these values will be ordered at once to go to Heaven and will be banned from our society for the rest of their death.
